


Going to Godmother's

by Deenerann



Series: Fleabag Snippets [7]
Category: Fleabag (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:23:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deenerann/pseuds/Deenerann
Summary: What happens when Godmother finds out about the latest developments?





	Going to Godmother's

This is going to be completely mental.

I reluctantly trudge up the pathway to my dad’s front door, glancing over at the man walking next to me.

He’s not paying any attention to me because he’s grinning and babbling at the small child he’s holding, his (beautiful) arms cradling the baby like his life depends on it.

_Our_ baby.

I still can’t believe he’s here.

Not only with me. I really can’t believe he’s _here_, walking up the path to deal with Godmother for an entire night. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he begged off and hid in my flat, but to his credit, he told me he’d come. For moral support.

She’s going to eat him alive, smiling brightly the whole time—just like she always does.

“Are you ready for this?” I warn, my voice low as we reach the front door.

He glances over at me and grins, raising his eyebrows. “As ready as I’ll ever be. You think she’ll be surprised?”

I bark out a laugh. “Marginally.”

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and ring the bell.

After a few moments, the door flings open and she’s standing there. “Darling! So glad you could come and bring me my scrumptious grandson.” Her eyes dart to the man standing next to me, holding said child, and they narrow—first with confusion and then with something a little more feral. “Father? What are you doing here? Here, hand me the baby. You can’t be used to such things in your line of work.”

She reaches out her arms, and he grimaces a little before reluctantly handing Boo over.

Boo begins to wail.

I draw in a deep breath, holding it a minute before letting it out in a long woosh.

_Here we go._

Godmother frowns at me, bouncing Boo on her shoulder, a little too enthusiastically. I really hope he vomits all over her designer caftan. “Honestly, darling, I don’t understand why he’s not a happier baby. Maybe your milk is lacking essential nutrients. Have you ever thought of giving him formula instead?”

I sigh and glance over at my companion on the stoop. His gaze meets mine and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. The sparkle in his eyes is back. I’m so glad. Those parish newsletters made me so worried about him, but he genuinely looks happy right now. Even in spite of the toxic circumstances.

My insides warm and my heart thumps against my ribs. I can do this tonight. He’s going to be by my side the whole time, like a fucking miracle, and I can _do_ this.

I can.

“Actually—“ I start to answer, but she interrupts me, her gaze assessing.

“You know, maybe it’s that he hasn’t had a male figure in his life. Fathers are so important, even at this young an age. Don’t you agree, Father?”

I bite my lip to keep from screaming and stare over at him. He’s gone a little white, but he smiles cheerfully at her. “Yes. I _do_ think that fathers are important. That’s why I plan on being around from now on.”

Godmother laughs. “Oh, Father. You’re so cute. I’m talking about Jude’s _biological_ father, not his spiritual one. My troubled step-daughter—“ she points at me. “Honestly, I’m not even sure she knows _who_ the father _is_.” She stands back, letting the proclamation explode around me, like a passive-aggressive grenade, and grins brightly. “Well, don’t just stand there, come in, come in!”

She turns and heads into the house and I glance over my shoulder at the only person who will probably keep me from committing step-matricide today.

He smiles. “It’s okay. We’ll get this all sorted out, and I, for one, can’t wait to see her face when we drop this particular hammer on her.”

“I wish we could drop an anvil on her.”

He laughs. God, I’ve missed that sound, and he reaches out to squeeze my hand before we walk into the house.

Godmother has already gone into the sitting room and is on the couch, bouncing an annoyed Boo on her knee. I know he’s only a few months old, but he’s definitely gotten the exasperated look down already. Hazards of having me as a mum, I suppose.

“Is Dad in?” I ask, looking around.

“He’s out running a couple errands. I was out of artisanal cheese.”

“Oh. Well, I’d like to talk to you both, so I’ll just wait until he’s back.”

She narrows her eyes and stares at me. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant again.”

“What? No!”

My beautiful, infuriating man snorts, his dark eyes twinkling. “Don’t sound so horrified. You said you’d go up to three.”.

I laugh and feel myself flush hot. I’m probably as red as a tomato, but I resist the urge to smack him. “Shut up.”

He shrugs. “Hey, you said it. No take backs.”

I glance over at Godmother and she’s watching us, her gaze calculating. She points, her finger, waving it back and forth between us. “What’s going on here?”

“Um, we—“

Her face brightens. “Oh! Are you planning on having Jude christened? Is that why Father is here? What a wonderful surprise! Say you’ll let me organize it? I have so many lovely friends to invite.”

Huh, I hadn’t thought of that. I suppose he’ll want our child christened. I turn to him. “Is that something you want? I haven’t done it. It was a bit too painful to think about, you know? Taking out my frustrations on the church, that sort of thing.”

“Well, probably not a Catholic christening, obviously. I don’t know how well that would go over right now, but yeah… I’d like him to be christened.”

“Does the Church of England do that sort of thing?”

I realize we’re having this conversation in full view of Godmother, but fuck it. She brought it up, and it’s important. I don’t want him to have any regrets, being with me. Being with us.

He nods. “Yes. They do. Is it really okay if I look into it? I’ve only been in his life one day. I don’t want to overstep my bounds.”

“You don’t have any bounds. He’s yours as much as mine. Of course it’s okay.”

He grins and makes a move like he’s going to wrap his arms around me, but I think he realizes where he is and pulls back last minute.

“Oh, uh—“ His gaze darts to Godmother and he pales again. He looks at me, his eyes a little wild, and mouths, “Sorry.”

I’m terrified to look at her. There’s no way she hasn’t worked this out by now. I scrunch my eyes tight and turn to face her, only opening one eye first—just to work out how much trouble I’m in.

Her mouth has dropped open and she’s staring at us in shock. “What the fu—“

The doorbell rings and I whirl around, grateful for the reprieve. “I’ll get it!” I scream and bolt for the hallway, flinging open the door.

Claire stands there, holding her wheeled suitcase. “Hi! I came straight from the airport. Didn’t have time to go by the flat first. How’s it going? Have you killed her yet?”

“Close call. Before you go in, I probably should mention—“

She blows past me before I can finish and heads into the sitting room, coming to a dead stop once she sees him.

“Oh, hello!” She turns back to me, her eyes wide. “This is unexpected.”

“You’re telling me. New development as of last night.”

“Permanent development?” She looks between us.

“Absolutely,” my gorgeous, beautiful, miracle of a man answers. “Not going anywhere.”

Claire nods. “It’s about time.”

I smack her lightly on the arm. “Stop it. Be nice to him.”

“I am being nice.” She turns back to him. “I’m glad you took my advice.”

He nods. “Me too.”

“Me three,” I joke, still refusing to look at Godmother. I am not ready for this. _Where_ is my father?

“Excuse me!” Godmother shouts, and Jude starts to cry. This breaks me out of my terror, and I run over to scoop him out of her lap. He stops crying immediately and nestles against my neck.

I love that.

Backing up, I stand in-between my sister and the love of my life, and turn to face the Wicked Witch of Exeter. 

Godmother’s eyes have narrowed to slits. “What is going on?” she hisses. “It almost sounds like you and the Father are an _item_.”

“We are,” he answers. “And I’m not a Father anymore. That is to say, I’m not a priest. I _am_ the father of this little guy.” He reaches over and runs his hand over Boo’s head.

“What?” she barks. “Why? When? _How_?”

“The night before your wedding, actually,” Claire pipes up, grinning merrily. “The usual way, I suppose.”

I’m going to kill her.

“You had sex with my priest the night before my _wedding_?” Godmother screams, jumping off the couch.

“Uh—“ I stare at the man in question and then up at the ceiling. Now would be a good time for divine intervention.

“I prefer to think of it as making love, actually,” he interrupts. “How could it be anything but?”

Godmother is going to blow a gasket. Her mouth has unhinged and she looks completely gobsmacked. “I don’t—I don’t understand,” she whispers, and sinks back down onto the cushions.

It’s pretty dramatic—even for her.

“I think it’s fairly simple,” he continues. “I love your step-daughter. Completely. I left the church to be with her, and then I found out about my son, so I couldn’t be more pleased with my decision. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me, since I’m not going anywhere. They’re stuck with me for the long-haul.”

“I wouldn’t call it stuck,” I protest.

He grins at me. “Well, that’s a relief.”

Claire plops down in a chair. “So, where’s dad?”

“Artisanal cheese,” I explain.

“Ah, of course.” She smiles up at me. “I suppose this means I need to find my own flat when I’m in London.”

“No, of course not! Your room is still your room.”

“Seems like maybe it will be a little crowded.”

“I promise I won’t invite God in,” says my ex-priest, laughing. “Plenty of room without him there.”

Claire laughs and looks over at Godmother. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. My sister is a force of nature.”

Godmother shuts her mouth and glares at her. “She fucked a priest!”

“Oh, we were both there,” he answers for me. “I wasn’t exactly forced into it.”

Godmother stands up again. “I need to paint. You all need to leave. Right now!”

With this proclamation, she storms upstairs.

We all look at each other and Claire shrugs. “Works for me. After my flight, I don’t think artisanal cheese will be enough. Want to go to dinner? Talk through logistics?”

I grin. “Sounds perfect.”

She nods and stands up, coming over to hug me, kissing Boo on the cheek. Then she turns and hugs my man, whispering something in his ear. He glances at me, and I feel my body start to tingle. There’s so much love in that look. I want to know what she said to him.

“Hey!” I protest. “No secrets.”

Claire grins. “You don’t need to know everything, sister dear. Now, let’s go eat.”


End file.
